This is why I adore my older friends

"I had a dream last night that kind of had you and Harrison in it :-) I don’t remember too much about it, but I will tell you what I do remember. I don’t know exactly where I was (you know how dreams are) but Harrison was in a sleeping bag. I didn’t actually see him, but I knew it was him. A little voice in my head said "Sabrina would want you to bring this to her". There was a tie/rope on the top end of the bag, so I tied it up and started to try and drag him to you - lol. He was struggling some and making noise, so I tried to cover where I thought his mouth was to keep him quiet. Then I thought - "You’re gonna be in trouble!!!". But I was so sure you would want me to bring him to you so I tried to drag him some more. Then I woke up :-( So I don’t know if I ever made it to you or not."

Lmfao. Dragging him off to give to me. Talk about friends who have got you covered.

again — why don’t i just dream of having sex with harrison?

i had a dream last night where the space cadet where i work chose me to be her wedding planner.

she invited me over and she was like “sabrina i think you would be the very person — the perfect ideal of a person, to decorate and host my wedding. i am willing to pay you 500 dollars as a down payment.”

i took that money and fucking RAN home to tell my mom “holy crap you have go to plan an entire wedding for me because if it were on to me i’d make it a cookout and like throw bbq sauce on the bride and the groom.”

and then i woke up. LMFAO i was like what the FUCK — ME??? an IDEAL for a WEDDING PLANNER? are you fucking kidding me?

my idea of a wedding is getting a marriage license at city hall. wtf.

all i know was i was itching for that 500 bucks as a down payment and whatever thousands she had for me when the wedding really came underway.

deanmartiann;
last night I had a dream that Harrison Ford was my father and it was very weird LMFAO! Not like I was raised by him or anything but like i just happened to find out that he was actually my real father and I've been like wtf ever since i woke up

omg.

i want to sex yo daddy

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that’s such a nice dream though. LMAO i like how you weren’t “Raised” by him but he was your actual father… that’s so like indiana jones from crystal skull…like a dead beat dad lmao. of course he didn’t know because marion never told him, but whatever — it’s still funny.

i never have dreams about harrison and when i do they’re so weird… like weird as in he’s telling me i can take all these free watermelons from the party and i’m all like DUDE I LOVE WATERMELONS OH MY GOD LIKE PULL THE TRUCK ‘ROUND BACK…. or ones where he’s shoving his hands in my pockets — my side pockets and rubbing my legs and i’m having a panic attack because i keep looking around for calista flockhart . LMAO. i mean that is her man literally so i just feel like she’s after me any time he gets close to me in my dreams. … or we’re in chicago and we’re sleeping on the floor in calista flockhart’s parents house which is so strange because i don’t know a fucking thing about her family or her in general and it’s like they won’t let me leave — i don’t know how i got there in the first place and yet i have nowhere to go because i don’t have my wallet or my license or a car or anything… and so they let me stay over, but her parents are like no you can’t sleep with harrison and i’m all like that’s weird they’re married and they’re adults…. like SENIOR CITIZEN adults and then like we’re on the floor and i get cold and i try to steal the blanket from harrison but he won’t let me have it so i end up under it with him, but it’s not like anything happened nor are we FACING each other like our backs are to each other and calista comes down and like trips over my leg and then the blanket flys off and she’s all like ” :O YOU FUCKING BITCH” and i’m all like OH MY GOD I JUST NEEDED TO GET WARM and harrison is just like slurring his words like in a fucking coma i’m like WAKE UP AND TELL HER THE TRUTH MY GOD.

you would think i would just have sex with him once in my dreams — but no. EVERYTHING ELSE happens.

ok dream time.

last night i had the weirdest dream. i was in my bed — like literally in my bed and like snape? is that his name? who is the character that alan rickman ( god i hope i’m spelling his name correcly) plays in the harry potter movies? anyway, he was there and he sprinkled salt ALL around my bed and he was like “don’t move” and i was like oh my god.

so my mom came inside the house and snape ( i hope that’s his name) was like she needs to come inside this room and sit on the bed to be protected and i was like oh my god mommy — I’M SCARED.

so my mom was like “wiat let me take my work clothes off” and i was like HURRY the motherfucking fuck up there’s like witches or ghosts after us and she was taking so long and then i started to think oh god, from her way from the car inside the house, she must have been attacked and she’s really not my mom.

and then i was so afraid for her to come in my room. LMFAO. i was like oh my god, i need more salt but i can’t get to the kitchen without running into her.

and then i woke up.

it was insane.

i don’t even watch harry potter LMAO. like i saw the second toe last film when it first came out and that was ALL i saw and i don’t understand ANYTHING about the movies.

this is too weird. lmfao.

i had the strangest dream like two nights ago

i had a dream that i was watching a  preview of this new movie that was yet to be released or even finished being made — and david duchovny was in it and it was like wow — the last time i watched a movie with him from start to finish was literally like five years ago. i haven’t even watched the x-files which i LOVE since i was 13 years old —

and in my dream i knew i was watching the preview for it because though david had filmed the begining of it, he wasn’t gonna finish filming it because he pulled out of the project and harrison ford was supposed to take his place.

AND THIS ALL MEANS… that i’m WAITING to hear about any news about harrison’s new movie “Adaline” that he’s supposed to be filming THIS MONTH.

ughghgh. lmfao. it’s like it’s sad that i’m waiting around on seeing a picture of him on set or landing his plane somewhere to head to filming — that i’m having dreams like this.

i sum it all up to my

i had a dream somewhere between like 8am and 12noon (of course, wacky hours would make a person dream, at least it does me) where i was snuggling — like deep snuggles to the point of like being embedded into something with some dude who was jonathan archer and sam beckett all at the same time so basically… let’s just say it was scotty-motherfucking-bakula and he just made my fucking slumber quite pleasant.

yes.

quite pleasant.

he wants ME. be jealous. :p

harrison needs to stop coming to me in my sleep as colonel graff. honest to goodness, i can’t deal with it. he was all “blue-jumper” in my dream last night and he was so mean to me AGAIN.

i think he wants to have sex with me. the colonel. i mean what else?

he’s angry because he’s sexually frustrated.


… so apparently i did sign up for battle school at some point in my life, cuz…

i had a dream this morning that i was in ender’s game. we were all sitting around this large conference table and i guess we were as ourselves (and i was actually an actres…. *CHOKES*). even i was sitting there thinking why on earth was i being asked questions about the movie like i was in the movie and then they pulled up a clip and i WAS in the movie and i’m like wtf?

anyway that’s when i noticed that we were all in our uniforms and harrison was just one moody bastard the entire time. apparently somebody mentioned something about me saying a line that wasn’t in the script, but it ended up on film and i just sat there and i asked “wait—we aren’t allowed to add our own lines? i thought this was just a test run — at least this clip” and harrison got so pissed off at my question i was like THE HELL is your problem? he was like “nobody said you couldn’t say what you want. the person just spotted it and thought to mention it.” and i was like “… okay….” but after that it was like shady-arces because he wouldn’t even LOOK at me or talk to me. he just talked to everybody else i was like whoa dude—what the hell is your problem?

i tried to apologize to him after this like sit-down thing we were at was over and he was all like “oh you don’t know how to answer questions for the public” and i’m like WHAT? DUDE I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I WAS AN ACTRESS UNTIL LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO! and i didn’t say anything WRONG either — i just ASKED a question! and he was all like “it wasn’t what you asked, it was the WAY you asked it — the attitude.” i was like oh my god… this dude wants to TAKE IT IN THE FACE doesn’t he? LMAO! i was so ready to let him have it, but then I woke up.

Ender’s Game ought to be REAL good now. When i see him on the big screen I’ll be like “so, should we take this outside NOW, harrison?” :p

I had the weirdest dream last night. I had a dream that two of my old buddies and I skipped out on a fire drill and while it was going on where we worked we were out back just taking naps and shit. Well when it was all over we were walking down the hall and we had told the security guard who was with us that we got away with it. Well we really didn’t because we were caught by other employees but it felt like when I did something bad in school with my friends and we ended up getting caught—so we told the woman that we were held up doing something and she insisted that we stole items they needed for the fire drill and we were like no these were ours. So she went to go ask the security guard and were like shit we are tucked but HD did end up covering for us. thing is he caught up later and he told us that he saved our asses by saying we were helping him with an emergency but that owed him.

We were just asking for trouble tho because we waited until they shut the building down and now the school and casino yes both looked like a fucking shopping mall—and we stole. We stole we also crawled on walls and we were all dressed in black and we had fighting Daniel Craig stealing with us! I was like god when is the one with the black mask over his face because his ass is nearly perfect.

What’s we steal? Like cheap shit! I remember I stole a necklace that was like some shit you can buy at target. I stole two magazines because they surprisingly had Cary Grant’s sexy self on the cover and I just had to have them. I even stole ice cream and sprinkles…and I was about to steal the Greek yogurts that I’m addicted to when my mother took off her mask and was like no don’t take any of those because they’re much too popular that it might trip some extra alarm that we don’t know about. I was all like whoaaaa my mama is knocking off the place with me? And Daniel Craig is helping us and she hasn’t like pinched his ass yet?! I was damn near shocked.

When it was time to split that’s when shit was heated like the crawl back to home base. I was sure with all the shit we all were carrying we were gonna get fucking caught.

This time Daniel led the way or should I be calling him Bond at this point? Thing is he had us doing shit I never could imagined doing like drawing into walls that were like literally 2x4. It was like Eugene Victor Tooms in The Xfiles-just squeezing through vents and like air ducts except these were walls. I was thinking the entire time like what about my ass? Its gonna get stuck in here and I’m gonna die.

We all had to do it you know go through the walls because by this time they were on to us. I was left alone with Daniel don’t ask me why but I wasn’t complaining. I was following him and man that ass….

Anyway…

We got to a point where this bright light nearly blinded me and when I I was freaking out like omg guys were all fucked now Daniel told us we could make it past the lights and we all listened…and we were step free but on hr wah to the exit door we saw our boss and Daniel had disappeared.

She was crying and she wanted to know what was it that he wanted? And that’s when we realized that Daniel was our boss too. He was the big boss and that he helped us steal from him because he wanted to prove to this woman that it wasnt about the shit he owned it was about the type of person you were.

So then we were all in dresses and suits which is word because why was I man drsss ? Seriously. And we were all drinking wine outside like fucking rich bitches because Daniel had gotten rid of her and made us all his second in commands. And it was all weird because Richard Gere was there with us and he was sucking some friend of mines face off and like Daniel had another friend and everybody had somebody except me….which is always the case.

I dunno. Weirdness. I dunno what crack I was on last night for this dream to happen.

so i had a dream about leprechauns the other night. i woke up and asked myself ‘what do i know that’s irish?’ and all of sudden harrison’s face popped in my head and then i thought of the fugitive with the saint patrick’s day parade…

but those two things weren’t in my dreams…it was just the leprechauns.

hmm…

imageimageimage

i can’t believe i had a two hour dream with this beast and even tho i got close to fucking him, it never happened.

fuck my LIFE like i never ever had before.

Cruise Ship & Cary Grant…er…John Robie…and Audrey Hepburn.



Alright so we were on a cruise ship. Again, I was on a cruise ship with Cary Grant. I don’t know what the hell it is about cruise ships, but I blame “An Affair to Remember” because I have never found them to be all that cool and/or dazzling and/or amazing until I saw that movie.

Anyway, so we’re on a cruise ship and he’s looking A LOT like John Robie (damn those To Catch a Thief gifs I’ve been making), but he isn’t saying very much—actually, he’s not saying anything at all as we’re sitting on some kind of balcony type of thing eating lunch. I’m not sure what the hell I’m saying to him, but I’m running my mouth non-stop and he’s just sitting there being all perfect and patient and fucking ASDFGHJKL.

Soon he started to get all weird on me tho. He kept looking past me and over my shoulders, and ducking a little lower to the table. That’s when I started to get a little worried that somebody was going to like shoot me in the back of the head LMAO or something insanely action-pack (and tragic) like that. Anyway, he finally got up and he muttered something to me, but I had NO idea what he said. He made his way to the back table—the last one on the balcony and that’s when I realized that nobody else was dining…which was a little strange, but it’s whatever at this point.

So he grabbed the bread basket and the bottle of wine from it—and this man jumped off the balcony. LMAO. Not a flying leap—but I swear it looked something like that. He landed on the next level of the cruise ship (don’t ask me how big it was, but this shit was MASSIVE).

Now here’s where video games come in. There’s like two or three levels in “Uncharted 3” where Nathan Drake is in an abandoned shipyard and he’s got to get through all all the bad guys and then he’s inside a ship at one point and he has to find him way out AFTER it tips over on its side. It was a fucking nightmare to get through (I couldn’t get past it for like TWO WEEKS!) Anyway, that’s what it looked like in my dream, but the ship wasn’t wrecked or anything and we were actually sailing somewhere (don’t ask me where).

So at this point I’m literally like “NO! DON’T LEAVE!” LMAO—like screaming to him, and of course he’s still on the move, but then he said something to me like ‘come on down’ and I’m like “I can’t! I’m afraid!” I mean I’m not going to JUMP off the level of a cruise ship with the impression I’m gonna LAND safely at the bottom. Not only that, but there were also pools on the level he jumped down to (see? again—An Affair To Remember on the brain).

So finally I figured you know what? This mofo done left my ass. I was just telling myself in my dream “they always seem to run away” and as I was frowning about it, suddenly I was “watching” everything on a TV Screen and suddenly it all became a movie. This is the SECOND time one of my Cary dreams have turned into movies. Anyway—he finally came through the window in what was supposed to be my room, but when he muttered something to the woman and he leaned in to kiss her,it wasn’t me—it was Audrey Hepburn.

That is all. LMAO. I woke up like OMG! Cary and Audrey did another movie together that NOBODY, but ME knows about!… no. LMAO. Clearly that isn’t the case, but I swear my last dream I had with Cary he was with Ingrid Bergman in a submarine (wel that’s close to a cruises hip) and they’ve never done a movie with one of those—but I woke up saying “omg, I totally am getting to watch something NOBODY else knows about.” Ahaha—LOSER.

Sigh. I don’t think I’ll ever get to kiss Cary or one of his characters in my dreams…somewhere in my mind and heart I probably prevent myself because I’m madly in love with Harrison and like all his characters. :p

uh…. weirdness

i had the weirdest dream. i was in a log cabin with people i didn’t know and the Indians were after us…. and then they shot an arrow through the glass and i was all like oh shit son!

then somebody gave me a shot gun that had a timer on it and then when we heard the knock on the door i said for everybody to start crawling around army style, but who came through was the sheriff and his deputy and whoever else, so i had to hide the gun in the cabinet, but the timer wouldn’t turn off so i had to give it to some like 90 year old lady (she’s the one who set the timer and the shotgun in the first place LMAO because hell if i know how to handle one of those things) and she turned the timer off…

…i dunno why a shotgun would have a timer…

i don’t know why this dream happened tho.

The Night I Dreamt of Dr. Barnaby Fulton

I FUCKING CAN’T

I was in school, it was like a high school, yet it was like a college too. I dunno, it was probably college, but anyway, I was going down a hallway that didn’t have ANY of my classes—ANY, and why? Because I was on the fucking prowl for Dr. Fulton. LMAO. Don’t ask me why he was a teacher or a professor—he’s not one in Monkey Business.

Anyway, I knew that he had a classroom in that hallway so I was bound to see him. At least that’s what I was telling myself.

Well I ran into Malia and she was very stylish—she was like a 1950s female student with like books in her hand an skirt…and a fucking poodle skirt—and she had a cardigan on.. LMFAO—FIGURES, anyway, I didn’t have any books in my hand—I don’t even think I had a backpack on and i SERIOUSLY didn’t have a purse. I wasn’t even dressed like anything from the 1950s—I was very modern with jeans on a t-shirt—and sneakers, lmao.

Anyway she was so loud when she asked me, “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN THIS HALLWAY?” an I told told her, “Oh nothing, I just have some time to kill” and then she was like “OH MY GOD. yOU CAME HERE TO SEE DR. FULTON!” and I was like like “OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE SOMEBODY HEARS YOU!” —lmfao, i nearly punched her in the throat. She kept blabbing her mouth and I kept getting more and more nervous. Finally, I was like dude, shut your fucking trap SERIOUSLY—anyway, we kept walking and so many students were running around and I was like I’m never going to see him. Well—I DID see him and he was doing something silly with another teacher (or professor) there, and he had on this funny looking jacket—it almost looked like a woman’s coat, and it was in some kind of like darkened or muted light pink color—and he was laughing—and I was just STARING my fucking ass off at him.

He kind of looked like this…except with different clothes and a coat pinkish coat on (still dunno where that came from or why… lmfao)—and without the phone:
 

But then he looked and she saw me and my eyes got so HUGe and I turned around so fast—and Malia was like “what’s the matter?” and I was like “Ohhh, nothing, but I should get to class” and she’s like “what’s the point of you hurrying now? you’ll never make it on time—you’re on the total opposite end of the building” and I then she noticed how out of breath I was and he said “OH MY GOD, YOU SAW DR. FULTON. DIDN’T YOU?!” and I was like “FUCK YOU DUDE—NO.” So she turned around and she said “oh my god, there he is!” and she looked behind her at, at me and she’s like walk this way with me and you get to see him closer” but I started jogging the OPPOSITE way. LMFAO—and then finally she hurt her mouth and she disappeared in her classroom, and I swear her teacher’s last name was “Peck”.

By now the hallway is getting empty, and I finally noticed the time and i’m already like 10 minutes late for class—so i’m fucked and I’m still in the same hallway because it’s like a 20 miles long.

Welll I figured why even bother? I started walking in the direction of Dr. Fulton’s classroom—I figured that now that nobody was in the hallway and MALIA wasn’t being so damn loud, I could at least pass by and catch a  glimpse of him doing whatever—really, I didn’t care at that point. LMAO. Anyway, I go to the classroom where I saw him standing with the coat on, but he wasn’t in there and the name on the door wasn’t even his name. So I kept going down the hall—and I was looking in every classroom as I walked by, and he wasn’t in there—and his name wasn’t on any of the doors. Now I figured I was just dreaming, but then I remembered Malia and how she nearly told my BIG SECRET to the fucking WORLD—and I’m like no, he was REALLY there—even she saw him.

It was then that I remembered that my music class was meeting in the school’s arena (and it sounds more like a college—and one with more of an art/music background)—so I figured by that time I got there, they’d be arriving and I could bullshit to the teacher that I thought we were to report there instead of the classroom.

Well I met up with them alright, but then some girl from my class said that I wasn’t allowed to eat inside the arena and for some reason I had an oatmeal cookie in my pocket—that I was breaking off piece by piece and eating as I was trying to find Dr. Fulton. LMAO—apparently I needed FUEL to keep going. So I was finding the piece in my mouth hard to swallow, so I noticed a water fountain and I went over to it. 

It was there I started to notice that the guy leading the class wasn’t even our teacher, but some elderly like 90 year old guy and I started to wonder what happened to our teacher. Well that girl came over to me and she was all perfect and shit—I mean books properly in her hands and a poodle skirt and her hair tied back with a ribbon and blah blah blah bLAAAHAHHH lmfao. I wanted to fucking SMASH her face in. So she’s standing next to me and she’s telling me to hurry up  because we were going to have to get in our positions on stage because our teacher had to leave suddenly and that Dr. Fulton was gong to instruct us.

OMG I nearly died. LMFAO. I told her “Fuck. I don’t feel so good. I can’t go in there” and she’s like “You were just eating a cookie. What do you mean you don’t feel good?” and I started to hear male footsteps in dress shoes coming down the hallway and I was like “Oh my god, I need to leave NOW!!! COME WITH ME!!!” So she’s like “well i can’t leave because I’m the lead on the piano” and I’m like this fucking bitch—LMAO, her and her fucking piano!

So I took off—and I ended up in a teacher’s tiny lounge room—it looked more like a walk-in closet more than anything else. WEll Malia was there with some male student—reading from some papers.

So of course they stopped reading and they were like WTF? and Malia was all like “aren’t you supposed to be rehearsing in the Arena?” and as soon as she asked that, we heard my name over the loud speaker—and her eyes grew as big as dinner plates and she was like “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!?!”” LMFAO.

I told her I did nothing and to continue reading and they both looked at me for a few minutes—but then they got back to reading and I realized then that they were practicing for a play. Well about a 10 minutes later there was a knock on the door and  was like OMG—it’s for me. Well it WAS for me. Dr. Fulton opened the door and foe whatever reason he had on a cardigan and no glasses and I was like …. I am going to DIE right now.

He looked at Malia first because she was wicked close to the male student and suddenly then even the male student looked like he was from the 1950s—LMAO—everyone looked that way EXCEPT ME.

So Dr. Fulton asked “Why are you in here?” to them, but more to her and she was all nervous and she said,  that they were rehearsing for a play and he asked, “Aren’t you in Mr. Peck’s class?” and she said “Yes” and he said “Shouldn’t you be in that class right now?” and she said “Yes” and he then said “Well let’s pretend I didn’t find you both for a couple of minutes more—finish the scene.”

At this point I was near death. LMFAO. I was thinking that there was no way for me to leave—at least being unnoticed, so I just sat there as still as I could hoping that when they went back to class he’d FORGET I was in there since he hadn’t even addressed me since coming in.

In my mind at that point as wall I kept thinking how Dr. Fulton looked like Cary Grant in “People Will Talk”—and how I had just seen that movie on the big screen and I’m like…isn’t it weird that he’s supposed to be in the Science field, yet he’s conducting an orchestra (or whatever the fuck we were—who the fuck knows)—and then everything around me was like so 1950s. The furniture, the colors—everything—except me. EXCEPT ME. lmfao.

Anyway he clapped when they were finished and he told them to return to their classes. I figured I was invisible at this point so I stood up so lowly to leave and that’s when he shut the door behind them.

I literally broke out in a sweat and I started to straighten my spine and my shoulders and let go of the arms of the chair as I used them to push myself out the chair. He put his hands on his waist and je just looked at me for what seemed like ETERNITY—not saying a fucking WORD to me.

I was finally about to nervously say something when eh said “I’ve ben looking for you” and I was like… oh my god WUT? LMFAO. Like my ears were pounding and he said “You’re supposed to be with the rest of your class. What are you doing in here?”

Suddenly he looked more like THIS at this point:
 

The cardigan wasn’t there anymore and his hair wasn’t like it normally is (you know, how cary’s chair normally is in a bunch of movies), but it was buzzed off just like he got it cut in Monkey Business—but the expression was the same and I was like…. oh my GAWD he’s gonna fucking KILL ME by just standing there—he didn’t even have the glasses on, but he was TOTALLY going to kill me anyway.

And I just looked at him like a deer caught in headlights—then I woke up…. at 12noon. LMFAO. i must have been REALLY fucking tired running around NONE STOP in my dream that I slept THAT long.

i gotta tell you guys about my creepy nightmare

well what else are nightmares supposed to be?

anyway, my neighbors across the street were like stalking me. the wife started mouthing me off about something, and get this, in my nightmare i was telling my father that i refused to eat at Red Lobster because it was owned by…. wait for it…CATHOLIC GIRLS. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. anyway, in my nightmare, i was telling him while he worked outside and the neighbor’s wife overheard and she was like all up in my face about it and i was like dude i was only kidding and she was like oh i know even though she had this look on her face like she didn’t believe me—and then my father disappeared and left me outside with her crazy ass.

then her husband started talking all funny—like a robot and he was like “GET. INSIDE. RIGHT. NOW.” to her and she was like “okay honey” and i was like… oh my goooooooodddd these people are SO fucking CRAY-CRAY!!

omg i can’t stop laughing as i’m typing this, but seriously. LMFAO—what the hell?

anyway, was too creepy. like they kept popping up in the dark and showing up at my father’s house when nobody was home and i was all like OH MY GOD, they’re gonna get me!

i haven’t SEEN them outside since I had this nightmare—and it’s whacked because I’ve spoke to the husband every so often, but these people lived here since I moved to this town when I was 9 years old—but I’ve NEVER seen his wife. I’ve NEVER said high to her—I don’t even know what her damn name is. I only know his. The only thing I notice is her legs because she’s always outside laying in the sun.

It’s insane. They’re home ALL the time too…and really—LMFAO, i love Red Lobster—and I’m Catholic. LMFAO so I don’t know why I made up such foolishness in my nightmare!