#black people

I was harassed today — because of the color of my skin — AT WORK.

So, I got insulted at work today — twice, and back to back.

The usual guy that comes in to service our machines came through and was talking to me. I’ve talked to him before, but usually with what I should call my semi-boss in the room.

We got to talking about the differences in generations and all of that. I was just sitting down at my desk putting in some eye drops for my allergies when he came in.

I mentioned bullying and how that seems to have turned into a huge problem. Now instead of handling things on your own, kids just seem weaker like they just don’t understand how to survive, more or less.

From there that’s where it all began. He agreed with me, but then he said “For an example, and I’m not trying to say this in an insulting way, but you have kinky hair.”

FIRST of all — I have curly hair. There’s nothing wrong with having “kinky” or “nappy” hair, but the truth is that my hair is curly. I get it from my mother’s side — and she’s whiter than a ghost — but she’s Italian and some of her siblings have the dark olive skin with the dark curly hair and the others have the very pale skin with the blue eyes and sometimes blonde/brown hair, but it is straight.

From there he said “I would have never guessed your Italian, but even then I know you’ve got to be mixed with something else.”

Okay, well I am. My father’s Jamaican — he’s 15 percent Scottish, but he just says he’s Jamaican. That’s fine. I happen to say I’m Italian and Jamiacan — whatever.

Then there was a problem in our department so I went to help. I could not remember how to do something and I saw him walking by so when he entered the room were the problem was, he came up with the answer.

Then — he proceeded to sit down, and right there in front of the woman who was having a problem, he stated how I was “Illiterate” about computers, but that he did not mean it in an “insulting” way.

I just got the tech position where I work at the end of December. I don’t have a college degree (and if I would have one — meaning as if I could afford to finish it since I’ve started and stopped 3 second times because of finacial reasons, I wouldn’t even have gone for computers. I adore computers, but I was actually in college for film.), but I’m far from stupid whne it comes to computers. I don’t know everything, but I know enough.

To make matters more worse than they already are — he included my “semi” boss into it and said that they both knew how much I did know or I didn’t know. That I don’t know the proper terms. Oh, I’m sorry — when you go and do a job do you want somebody to fix the problem or sit there using “big tech words” that they seriously don’t fucking understand? No. I don’t think so.

I am livid. I’m like where the hell does this guy come off being so racist out of nowhere? The last time somebody said anything racist to me I was 17 and I almost broke down in tears. This time, I just got upset and now I’m just fucking pissed off.

I went straight to my boss — and I told her everything. I was like you know what — I didn’t say shit to this guy. Any time he wants me to do something when he comes in toe service the machine I go ahead and do it. He already said “I’ve got a lot to learn” like 90 times — every time he comes into the building. He’s already made me late for leaving work because he had to “show” me something instead of telling me something.

And after ALL he said, he said “I don’t mean to be insulting”. Well you know what buddy? YOU WERE insulting and you were being RACIST.

I just — you know, I really just don’t know. I wanted to write this and post it — to let people see how fucking ignorant and stupid people still are in 2014. This some bullshit.

i’m dying

a friend of mine works with this black woman. when i went to visit my friend (she lives in long island), she took me where she works to meet the people that work in her department, and so i met this woman face to face. she is HILARIOUS.

anyway, she just told me on msn messenger that the woman called out of work today because her transmission went and my friend said, “in her terms, the car blew up.”

this woman’s a riot though. she’ll go to the bathroom and burn the ends of her fake braids to keep them from coming undone. i just love her—i want her autograph.

i’m pissing my pants. i love black people. 

"Dark Shadows" and...black people vs. white people

  • ME: when the ghost told the young woman "help me" and she started following the ghost, I leaned over to my mom and said, "there's no way I'd EVER follow a ghost. I'd run in the other direction!" and my mom is like "you have to follow them. they make you follow them--it's like a force that makes you follow them." and in my head I'm thinking, "ONLY FOR WHITE PEOPLE."
  • ME: my mom is like "Well if you think you're black, then fine--you do what you want!" and I said to her "I'm not black, I'm HALF-black, and in cases like this, my black side speaks to me louder than my white side. I am not willingly going to go follow a ghost--I don't care if they begged me to help them." she like freaked me out--seriously! ever thought about it--seriously? there are never black people in horror movies and if they are, they always run in the "opposite" direction of the ghost/maniac/witch/vampire/etc, and naturally, they're the ones to die ANYWAY--lmao. white people walk towards the danger and they end up coming out alive in the end. It's true--and I don't even watch horror movies, but I know this to be a fact.

Do you have a parent that wants you to deny half of what you are?

I’m 24 years old and my father insists that I am only black.

Growing up I never once heard my father tell me or my older brother that we were to pick one of our two races. Now, he’s turned into this anti-white people monster and a great deal of it, I am sure, comes from my mother divorcing him.

Of course, regardless of where it comes from, it is upsetting to me. On top of all the other asshole tendencies my father has already developed since the divorce, now he’s claiming that I can’t be anything, but black.

Biracial people can’t just cut themselves down the center. Biracial people can’t just deny half of who they are and if they choose to do that, then that’s their business—but I’ve never done that.

Everything I do is half and half. I go to the store for hair products and I end up grabbing products from both the white shelf and the black shelf. The food I eat spans from a nearly five dollar jar of Nutella to Pigs Feet. The clothes I buy are worn in both black or white styles. Sometimes, if it’s affordable, the labels of my clothes are either by black or white designers.

The Civil Rights Movement is probably the only time in American History or any history, that interests me. I will watch movies on black race related issues—anywhere from movies like “Nightjohn” all the way through major motion pictures such as “Men of Honor”. In the next moment I will paw through my Harrison Ford collection and have a grand ole time.

That’s just who I am. That’s just who I’ve always been.

My parents never taught my brother and I to be anything else than who we are. Why my father has now changed his mind is beyond disgusting to me.

I refuse to pass myself off as one race over the other just because ignorant people such as my father claim I am. I refuse to take half of who I am and throw it all away.

Why should I, when I’ve got the best of both worlds? I’ve also got the worst of both worlds. I’ve already learned how to deal with that. I don’t walk around claiming that all of the mishaps in my life have happened because I look more black than I look white from the color of my skin.

So there it is. I’m just deeply bothered by my father—actually, I can’t stand the man, and this only makes it worst.

Anyone else out there in the world have this problem?